FO Alterknits Crown

Apparently I can’t get enough of Alterknits. No, really. I can’t. I like it a good deal. I also want to make the knitted porch screen, and I’ll definitely be making more of the rugs. I’ve already got a big bag of clean, ready-to-dye discarded Ts in the laundry room.

So here I am playing bride, because I couldn’t get the real bride to go for the silly crown.

I made this crown for my girl Rebecca’s bachelorette weekend in Miami. She wouldn’t wear it, but I’m still holding out hope she’ll wear it at her bachelorette party in Austin (the wedding’s still 6 months away; surely she’ll need another party first). After all, what’s the point of a bachelorette party if the bride-to-be doesn’t end the night drunk, remorseful, and with smeared mascara and a tattered toy veil?

Rebecca doesn’t see it my way. Yet.

I made it out of tulle stripes carried with a strand of Berroco something-or-other–Laser FX? One of the sequin FXs, although Berocco cancels yarns every 15 minutes, so…

I made 2 layers & seamed them together to combat the curl & give it more body, then shoved a bunch of irregular lengths/thickenesses of tulle through the stitching on the back to make the veil. Also wove ribbons through the back stitches to form ties to close it.

I actually think it’s really cute, and I would have been proud to wear it slamming shooters in a dive bar, but Rebecca’s fancier than me, and like so look classy when she makes a spectacle of herself. Hee hee. By the way, right after I modeled this, Rebecca climbed into bed, drunk-dialed everyone she knew, including her fiance, about propositing John Taylor (of Duran Duran–they had a photo shoot at our hotel), fell asleep for a few mintues, then had to apply makeup with one eye open, with me fixing the foundation that she smeared into her hair. But somehow she managed to pull it together and appear almost dignified by the time we left the hotel. She’s a trooper.

Today I finished Rebecca’s Christmas present, a slightly-modified cashmerino single cable scarf from One Skein (oh, look, Leigh Radford again–she’s my new girlfriend). It’s scrumpy. I’ll post it as soon as it’s blocked. (Rebecca doesn’t go in for all this crafty crap, so there’s no risk she’ll read about her present.) I also finished the sweater variation of the Bondage Onsie (Naughty Needles outtake), which I’ll be posting tomorrow if I can TCB and if I can make myself not look so fucking fat. (I made the pretend Nikol size, my 2004 weight, instead of my current size. Hopefully it will be my future size as well.) Lately I can’t seem to check anything off my list… Except, you know, stuffing my face with chili dogs and french fries…

(And you wonder why your ass is so big.)