Bad day

I’m having one of those days where there are just a million shitty little things going wrong. I’m a natural crybaby, but I staved off the tears almost all day. Then I started bawling and now I can’t stop, so I’m trying to distract myself.

I think everyone who’s self-employed starts to feel this way near the holidays, anxious and overwhelmed a little frantic about money.  You really want to enjoy the holiday and have a vacation, but you feel like if you pause at all, you’ll be screwed. I promised myself I was going to leave November & December completely open, but instead we started a new nonprofit, which is so much work, even before you really get started in earnest, just setting crap up and defining yourself and putting together informational materials and filing all the paperwork. So instead of getting caught up with everything, I’ve fallen farther behind. I’m a disgrace. I’m just a girl who can’t say no. That should be my freaking theme song. That is my theme song.

Anyway, the chickens must have heard I was having a shitty day, because after months of lackluster performance, today they gave me this:

That’s Bridgette, Inara, Faith, and Cathy, hard at work! Plus Buffy layed another one outside of the nest and it froze (we had single-digit temps this morning), so that means only Zoe and Kaylee are slacking off. Zoe’s never been much of a worker (unlike her namesake; she’s really nothing at all like her namesake), so that’s no surprise, but I do miss Kaylee’s pointy little eggs. Inara’s was a shocker, because just a few days ago, I noticed she was regrowing molted head feathers (which looked really weird, because they’re so short). Well, done, ladies! Thanks for the little pick-me-up!

  • kristin says:

    Oh, Nikol, don’t beat yourself up. I know exactly how you feel, though. Now that I’m self-employed, I feel like all of my efforts have to be about bringing in new business and I constantly think about money. I hate that. But my happiness in doing something I like is something that money can’t buy. Just think of all the great things you’ve done and all the lives you’ve enriched. Better than money.

    And eggs? Eggs are TOTALLY better than money.

  • patty says:

    while not self employed I have family issues and the forcing of being with them during the holidays is not going to make me feel, joyful, or happy. I am really beginning to hate the holidays.

  • Cathy says:

    I’m sending you a big hug, my friend. I think the frigid weather doesn’t help matters at all either. If I was there, I would bring you a big mug of hot chocolate with marshmallows and a pan of rice krispie treats. :)

  • Denise W. says:

    Hey Nikol….hang in there girlfriend…this time of year can be hard for sure. And to be self employed is a huge responsibility. You are doing great work. Keep the faith! And how cool you have such pretty eggs…my girls are on strike. We sometimes turn a light on for extended daylight hours and that helps production. I hate to buy store eggs and resist doing so. Wish I were closer I would bring my canine pack for a visit to cheer you surely that would make you smile. The new puppy is adorable. Happy Holiday! Are you hosting spinsters this month?

  • queenie says:

    Wow! The colours are SO pretty. . . . Wish we could have chickens! Best wishes to you during this advent season. For joy! And peace. . . .

  • SteffanyF says:

    OMG! You named your chickens after Firefly characters. That made my day!

  • leslie van every says:

    Oh honey,

    It is something about this time of year that at times can just well… suck balls.

    But I’m rooting for you and so glad that your firefly chickens got it together to send you some eggy love!

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